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I. "Nothing is true."
What is a Friday
but the end of a Monday
or is it the Monday
that starts out the Friday?
It could have been both
Like night
Like day
Could be each other
no question at all.
For the nature of either
is neither
exists.
II. "Everything is permitted."
Would wrong be right
right when the left
turns to the right
wrong way we left?
To me it's false, to you correct.
But nothing is deep in bone
And nothing in stone is set
So nothing becomes despair
So nothing deserves regret
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(06-09-2010, 04:39 PM)digna_sofia Wrote: I. "Nothing is true."
What is a Friday
but the end of a Monday
or is it the Monday
that starts out the Friday?
It could have been both
Like night
Like day
Could be each other
no question at all.
For the nature of either
is neither
exists.
II. "Everything is permitted."
Would wrong be right
right when the left
turns to the right
wrong way we left?
To me it's false, to you correct.
But nothing is deep in bone
And nothing in stone is set
So nothing becomes despair
So nothing deserves regret
the only thing that doesn't work for me in this corkscrew
is the penultimate couplet.
anyway you look at it the bottom line of it
comes off as being a bit too blaze'-cliche. (just my opinion)
it feels nicely humdrum and at the same time hedonistic
i enjoy the way you play around with very little and produce the goods.
thanks for the read digna, as always
did i just say you lend order to chaos
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I love it! it clicked with me
Bianca 
Posts: 43
Threads: 12
Joined: Jun 2010
Thank you for the encouragement and the comments.
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I really love your poetry, its always fascinating. That opening stanza in part two really threw me for a loop
Though I don't dislike the ending, it somehow left me... unsatisfied isn't the word at all. But something to close and round out the idea of the poem better (maybe, perhaps, the two lines could easily belong to a part three?
)
But wow, its lovely as is
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Posts: 43
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Turning the last two lines into a part three...that's BRILLIANT! Thank you!
