12-02-2013, 12:02 AM
It's sunny today, which makes me happy. I could
go to the beach or walk in the park. Maybe some
museum is open. Maybe I could take my tablet
to a mountain and find inspiration in sage.
Not likely. Instead I'll clean the house, watch
a movie, read a book. I'll soak in the Jacuzzi
and listen to the waterproof marconi. I'll
think about my dreams and try to type.
I need to lose weight. I need to walk.
I need to be somebody else.
The Holiday Season is here and I'm lost.
I don't want to see my parents. The thought
of dinner with siblings makes me quake: always
some mistake. I can't wait for it all to be over.
I look at the kid I was: he's a goon. No wonder
I stayed in my room with comic books, radio and
masturbatory fantasies. When I made those dreams
come true they were worthless. My boon companion
was Poe. He understood; nobody else.
I went up to bat and got hit in the mouth with a pitch.
They turned the camera to me: I froze and couldn't speak.
I lost my job at the car wash in a week. My father built a coop
for raising pigeons: I accidently let them all escape. When the
time came to shoot group photos for the yearbook, I forgot
to show up.
God I hated church. So many self-important people. I walked
down the aisle, stepping on toes all the way.
It's OK. You get to the point where what matters are the leaves
dangling from the eucalyptus. I know what comes next: another
child. The same mistakes, the same embarrassments; more com-
munion with prophets. Let it go, I say - it doesn't need me.
Lance Jencks
go to the beach or walk in the park. Maybe some
museum is open. Maybe I could take my tablet
to a mountain and find inspiration in sage.
Not likely. Instead I'll clean the house, watch
a movie, read a book. I'll soak in the Jacuzzi
and listen to the waterproof marconi. I'll
think about my dreams and try to type.
I need to lose weight. I need to walk.
I need to be somebody else.
The Holiday Season is here and I'm lost.
I don't want to see my parents. The thought
of dinner with siblings makes me quake: always
some mistake. I can't wait for it all to be over.
I look at the kid I was: he's a goon. No wonder
I stayed in my room with comic books, radio and
masturbatory fantasies. When I made those dreams
come true they were worthless. My boon companion
was Poe. He understood; nobody else.
I went up to bat and got hit in the mouth with a pitch.
They turned the camera to me: I froze and couldn't speak.
I lost my job at the car wash in a week. My father built a coop
for raising pigeons: I accidently let them all escape. When the
time came to shoot group photos for the yearbook, I forgot
to show up.
God I hated church. So many self-important people. I walked
down the aisle, stepping on toes all the way.
It's OK. You get to the point where what matters are the leaves
dangling from the eucalyptus. I know what comes next: another
child. The same mistakes, the same embarrassments; more com-
munion with prophets. Let it go, I say - it doesn't need me.
Lance Jencks