Posts: 21
Threads: 45
Joined: Jan 2010
I open my front door
My eyes open wide
Knowing i'd be safer
On the inside
Walking down the road
Really wanting to be home
I hate this phobia
It won't leave me alone
Panic sets in
Anxiety is high
Chest and lungs expand
As i curse the sky
The sweat on my forehead
With my heartbeat pounding fast
I tried and tried
But knew i couldn't last
Thinking now quickly
I've got to get home
The only place i know
To my comfort zone
--------------------------
Written by James Jenkinson
02/6/2010
This poem means a lot to me as i am a sufferer
gonna add some more verses as they are coming into my head
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
it's a bit long for the short poetry forum dubs so i've moved it to the mild crit forum..billy
knowing a poem is about a real thing makes feedback on it's craft unnecessary.
can anything be done about it?
i found the poem to be very sad. sometimes life seems so unfair.
Posts: 21
Threads: 45
Joined: Jan 2010
i have tried for 7 long years now but nothing seems to work...and i don't care what others say about it..i have adapted to it,sad indeed
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
adapt is what we do best.
glad to see you posting a poem dubs.
Posts: 21
Threads: 45
Joined: Jan 2010
sometimes they just pop up/ya know urself the way it happens makin poems
Posts: 110
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2010
Life experience is the best muse for a poem. It's a good poem. I had temporary agoraphobia after getting hit by a bull elk on the highway (It was a shadow - never saw the huge thing but it destroyed my car and left me uninjured!) I didn't want to leave the house but I had to go to work, I forced myself. I was a wreck for weeks. Stayed off coffee for a while, wrote poems.
Sorry you suffer and haven't found a way through it, glad you adapted and or accepted ~ that takes courage of and in itself, way to go.
liked your poem indeed.
Bianca 
Posts: 41
Threads: 1
Joined: Jun 2010
(06-03-2010, 07:47 AM)DUBLIN5 Wrote: i have tried for 7 long years now but nothing seems to work...and i don't care what others say about it..i have adapted to it,sad indeed
I hear you
LOUD & CLEAR ... I'm in my 18th year with it ... it totally sucks big time!!!!! Thankfully my natural character is not that of a social butterfly as I've always been a homebody. We have a small hobby farm with miniature horses so I have much contentment in my life.
I also have a husband who has never once made me feel guilty as it affects him as well.
Great poem with a most accurate description
You give to the world when you're giving your best to somebody else.
Posts: 21
Threads: 45
Joined: Jan 2010
thank you very much it means a lot
Posts: 13
Threads: 66
Joined: Dec 2009
put a be in the last sentence maybe?to be my comfort zone
anyway,i really liked this,straight from the heart.i don't have this fobia,never thought of it until now that is
- the partially blind semi bald eagle
Bastard Elect
Posts: 805
Threads: 374
Joined: Dec 2009
Thanks for sharing this. I don't think it really needs more verses, but this is your piece and thats up to you.
It struck me how this works on other levels as well, not just agoraphobia, but that universal fear of feeling vulnerable and exposed that drives us to isolation even if its just on the emotional level ("knowing I'd be safer on the inside")
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Posts: 43
Threads: 12
Joined: Jun 2010
As another phobic - in my case, a near-crippling fear of heights - I know how much a phobia can really negatively affect a person. I applaud you for your bravery in sharing this with us.
PS: I like the rhyme and rhythm of this poem. I may be reading too much into this, but I think it simulates the frantically-beating heart very well. Any person who's ever been scared shitless knows that feeling, and you conveyed it well. Bravo.
Posts: 21
Threads: 45
Joined: Jan 2010
Thank you for you're comment
Posts: 54
Threads: 33
Joined: Feb 2010
I liked your poem and the topic. I can relate to this (hence, I am going through a rough time in life also) However, to me it was too telly. I believe, This could have been way better. Such as adding similes, or even a metaphor. There wasn't much imagery, expect for walking out your house(which you could have elaborate more)
example:
walking out the door
fear in the eyes
ready to face the world
^^ not the best- yet, just an example.
To me, this poem has much potential and I would like to see you add more verses and fix this up. it's too good! just needs some work..
Posts: 21
Threads: 45
Joined: Jan 2010
tell ya what why don't ya do it cause it just came out of me head at the spur of the moment an post it would be interesting...glad ya liked it
glad to know i'm not on my own with this phobia
Posts: 13
Threads: 66
Joined: Dec 2009
that was obvious to me that it was written spontaniously,that's why i liked it a lot,right to the gut
- the partially blind semi bald eagle
Bastard Elect
