Mountain's Mist
#1
The Mountain’s glorious peak
is shrouded in a heavy mist.
There is snow in the heights.
From my vantage point
the scene is comforting.
The light rain here
encircles me as I listen
to tinkling piano music.
The Fog descends to
bring mystery to the night.

Long ago superstitious
peasants spoke the name
Dragonsbreath with
trembling lips
- of the fog.
For me it holds
charm, romance
and covers the
flaws of man.

Like – the stealing
of earth’s resources
raping of the land
the great forests
destroyed by strip mining.
The mountains bored
into for gravel,
the coal, silver
and diamond mines.
That also claimed
human lives.


Farm fields ravaged
for a housing development.
That ancient oak tree
that everyone’s
great-great-grandfather
used to climb on –
torn down for
a strip mall.

Fog that covers
the flaws of man
eases down
from the mountain
- beloved
moist on my lips
and eyelashes
cool in my lungs
ah, Dragonsbreath maybe!

Man is the Bringer of calamity
or the Maker of peace.
Like the fog, I am a witness.

©12/18/09
Bianca Blush
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#2
WOW! I absolutely loved every word of it.
Most especially ...

The light rain here
encircles me as I listen
to tinkling piano music.
The Fog descends to
bring mystery to the night.

Fog that covers
the flaws of man
eases down
from the mountain
- beloved
moist on my lips
and eyelashes
cool in my lungs

Like the fog, I am a witness.
You give to the world when you're giving your best to somebody else.
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#3
Like the idea. And the term dragonsbreath gives it a different undercurrent. Like the mountain is sleepy but alive, and maybe grumbling...

"Man is the bringer of calamity
or the maker of peace"
I don't think these two lines tie into the poem very well... so imo I'd replace it. Just a thought.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#4
from what was said in the poem i think

"Man is the bringer of calamity
or the maker of peace"

is a bit redundant even if it is your insight Bianca,
some nice images with the fog.


this was my fave part.


Fog that covers
the flaws of man
eases down
from the mountain
- beloved
moist on my lips
and eyelashes
cool in my lungs
ah, Dragonsbreath maybe!

thanks for the poem Bianca Smile
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#5
Glad you all liked it and thanks for your edit idea.
Bianca Blush
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