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I am want of what I lack
And what I lack is wanting
In want of a dear desire, a pure passion forged in fire,
A desperate dream to fuel flames and heat higher.
I hold no need but need of needing,
To hold hope in the face of fleeting-
Flint to spark springs into ignition
Enticing embers that lack their mission
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Threads: 82
Joined: Sep 2013
(10-29-2013, 07:48 AM)drithebee Wrote: I am want of what I lack
And what I lack is wanting
In want of a dear desire, a pure passion forged in fire,
A desperate dream to fuel flames and heat higher.
I hold no need but need of needing,
To hold hope in the face of fleeting-
Flint to spark springs into ignition
Enticing embers that lack their mission
Hi, dri, welcome.
I'm growing to like this one. While L5 works so well, I'm still caught on L6, it's unclear to me what is fleeting, and the hyphen just leads me to fleeting-flint, even more confusing. I'd also like to see you finish up the punctuation, feels like you just stopped partway through.
Thanks for the interesting read.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
Posts: 71
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Joined: Oct 2013
I can certainly relate to the poem...and so I like it
"pure passion forged in fire" - fiery passion is way cliché.
"to fuel flames and heat higher" - sounds kind of forced. maybe just me.
The second stanza: LOVE it.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
