Stress Test

[SirBrendan]

A quick qualifier, this is my very first time really trying to get into strict meter. I'd really appreciate some of our more trained poets to show me where I went wrong; because as the poem indicates, I really struggle with determining syllabic stress. I've include the standard stress marks to show what I think I'm doing.

Anunciating stress is very hard
x / x / x / x / x /
as though I somehow lack the ears for this
x / x / x / x / x /
And if only I were akin that bard
x / x/ x / x / x /
whose ebb and flow and wax and wane, does piss
(x) / x / x / x / x /

down wind every clumsy, silly effort
/ x / x / x / x / x
staggared, ragged pretention I push out
/ x / x / x / x / x
With practice bear fruit, so persist, stalwart
/ x / x / x / x / x
and in time I might find some slight redoubt
/ x / x / x / x / x

Maybe I don't have to reach such standard
just find comfort that it was spoke and heard

[demuzzled]

So this will definitely be a post that I watch as it will be a learning tool for me. With that said I don't have a lot of critique persay because I am learning the uses and flow myself. I would ask--what makes youwant to learn "strict meter"?

[SirBrendan]

Well, metre is an obviously useful tool for poetry. My big problem is, as the poem says, I've a tremendous difficulty hearing the strain on a syllable. I have no issue with free form or poetry without metre, but if I do as much, I'd like it to be by choice rather than ignorance

[milo]

A quick qualifier, this is my very first time really trying to get into strict meter. I'd really appreciate some of our more trained poets to show me where I went wrong; because as the poem indicates, I really struggle with determining syllabic stress. I've include the standard stress marks to show what I think I'm doing.

Anunciating stress is very hard aNUN ciAT ingSTRESS isVER yHARD
x / x / x / x / x /
as though I somehow lack the ears for this asTHOUGH iSOME howLACK theEARS for THIS
x / x / x / x / x /
And if only I were akin that bard andifON lyI were(was)aKIN thatBARD
x / x/ x / x / x /
whose ebb and flow and wax and wane, does piss whoseEBB andFLOW andWAX andWANE doesPISS
(x) / x / x / x / x /

down wind every clumsy, silly effort downWIND EVry CLUMsy SILliy EFfort
/ x / x / x / x / x
staggared, ragged pretention I push out STAGgard RAGged preTEN tionI pushOUT
/ x / x / x / x / x
With practice bear fruit, so persist, stalwart withPRAC icebearFRUIT SOper SIST(caes) STALwart *
/ x / x / x / x / x
and in time I might find some slight redoubt andinTIME imightFIND someSLIGHT reDOUBT
/ x / x / x / x / x

Maybe I don't have to reach such standard
just find comfort that it was spoke and heard

I am not certain what meter you are going for. I indicated in bold how I would most likely scan this. Some lines would read different based on a predominant meter but, as there is no predominant meter established, I took the lines individually.

---

You might enjoy this thread:

http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/showthread.php?tid=10757&highlight=blank+verse

[SirBrendan]

Thanks a lot for take the time to review this Milo; I really appreciate it. I want the first stanza in the sing-song iambic. Then for the second stanza, I wanted it a little uglier (to reflect the self doubt and such) so I tried to invert the metre. For the final bit, I simply dropped the metre entirely to reflect the overall message of it.

Really though, I couldn't for the life of me hear syllabic stress before doing this poem, so it was very much an incredibly useful exercise for me. I understand sometimes accents and the such can affect how certain stress is stated, but it seems from your--again appreciated-- review that I've got the general sense for it but still need to practice and review speaking rhythm a bit more.

Again, thank you very much Milo, and I believe my meter will be much tighter in the future for it