Posts: 104
Threads: 14
Joined: Sep 2013
Wraiths amongst the battlefield
Striking, swiftly and effortlessly
One by one, houses are ransacked and left in ruins
Nothing remains but just an empty handout
A Ghost Town, how fitting
Nowhere is safe
There's no escape
They’re in every shadow
Every dark corner of your mind
Your loss is their reward
Nothing stops their gluttony
Our Orange guardians,
Combatted skeletons, and
Menacing driveways do nothing
Against their well-orchestrated onslaught
They’ll be back
As they always do
To aim at the moon
And howl into the night
"Trick or Treat!"
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits
Posts: 27
Threads: 5
Joined: Oct 2013
Simple, great imagery, and entertaining an idea we all recognize, an interesting perspective
Posts: 104
Threads: 14
Joined: Sep 2013
(10-11-2013, 05:53 AM)RyanRader13 Wrote: Simple, great imagery, and entertaining an idea we all recognize, an interesting perspective
Thanks! Halloween is coming up, and I saw a few related poems being posted, so I figured why not make one of my simple interpretation to contribute to that.
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits
Posts: 27
Threads: 5
Joined: Oct 2013
simple is the best with many things. i loved the dramatic details. As I said great imagery, fun read
Posts: 104
Threads: 14
Joined: Sep 2013
(10-11-2013, 05:59 AM)RyanRader13 Wrote: simple is the best with many things. i loved the dramatic details. As I said great imagery, fun read
Thanks again!
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits
Posts: 1,827
Threads: 305
Joined: Dec 2016
That's a fun description. You might want to change up the first line a little, as currently it is a perfect line of iambic tetrameter. I was expecting the rest of the poem to be the same, as it is such a regular line; it took me a second to get past it. Just a thought, I know this is in the fun section.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 104
Threads: 14
Joined: Sep 2013
(10-11-2013, 08:54 AM)Erthona Wrote: That's a fun description. You might want to change up the first line a little, as currently it is a perfect line of iambic tetrameter. I was expecting the rest of the poem to be the same, as it is such a regular line; it took me a second to get past it. Just a thought, I know this is in the fun section.
Dale
Thanks Dale! Glad you found it fun
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits
Posts: 15
Threads: 3
Joined: May 2013
It took me until "orange guardians" and " combated skeletons" to realize what you were talking about. That made it even more enjoyable, really funny.
Thanks for the read
Posts: 104
Threads: 14
Joined: Sep 2013
(10-11-2013, 11:03 AM)FayandFire Wrote: It took me until "orange guardians" and " combated skeletons" to realize what you were talking about. That made it even more enjoyable, really funny.
Thanks for the read
Glad you enjoyed
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits