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I've decided to try some stream of consciousness stuff out, and my first attempt is this sort of ABC poem:
Under the Cross
A conscious effort
by the constrained
creates nothing.
Devoid of inspiration,
enraged egotists find
fault in selfless pursuit of
glory.
Hampered by the
infancy of others,
jettisoned memories of
ketamine disassociation allow
lies to fester.
Myopic interludes of
nihilistic pleasure
only serve to
profundicate the
questionably sane
revolver in my hands
sublime speech on world peace.
There is no sense left
under the cross.
Violins are broken,
weapons formed while
xylophone keys shatter
Yale’s prestige as king of the
zoo.
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Basically an Acrostic.
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I like "ketamine disassociation", it's one of my favorite things.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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I saw this poem and enjoyed the style. I gave it go yesterday and fell short at J haha, with that said I am impressed with the effective vocabulary use and how the story stayed intact. Good job
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits
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(09-24-2013, 03:12 AM)Wjames Wrote: I've decided to try some stream of consciousness stuff out, and my first attempt is this sort of ABC poem:
This is probably a description of the greatest contradiction in terms I have ever seen. That anyone's consciousness "streams" alphabetically is just too ridiculous
To the poem..ignoring the banner.
Under the Cross
A conscious effort
by the constrained
creates nothing. A bald statement but immediately explained by the constraint of form...which, incidentally, is neither original or of value...but your poem is
Devoid of inspiration,
enraged egotists find
fault in selfless pursuit of
glory....except that now you make no sense. If you must pursue the ABC nonsense find a SOLID theme.You are trying to make this beast of your own creation walk to heel but I fear it is too wayward...things will only get worse...pity,really, because you either know some words or your dictionary is er...open...sorry, your stream of consciousness is in full flow
Hampered by the
infancy of others,
jettisoned memories of
ketamine disassociation allow Yes, says erthona. It is outside my experience and I like that...but does the stanza mean anything? I mean, that is important, isn't it?
lies to fester.
Myopic interludes of
nihilistic pleasure
only serve to
profundicate the
questionably sane
revolver in my hands
sublime speech on world peace. ...ah, gobbledygook time is upon us. Anything goes from now on...so i will too. End.
There is no sense left
under the cross.
Violins are broken,
weapons formed while
xylophone keys shatter
Yale’s prestige as king of the
zoo.
I guess you tried. I say again, if you MUST torture yourself with this sort of thing get a metaphor, pin it down in stanza 1 and stretch it very carefully. You end on zoo...what inspired stuff. Now that you have been exorcised by this exercise I bet you can write a great poem. If you want to make it difficult why not make the last letter of each line run through the alphabet...stream of consciousness, of course. No? No, that would be silly ...wouldn't it. Anyway, you cheated. You just found a whole heap of words which began with the letters you wanted and broke the lines to make the word become the start...where's the art?
A
better plan would be to
construct the piece to
describe an interesting
event or story.
Forget the alphabetic achrostic and
go for something which demonstrates
how skilled you are
in writing poetry.
Just making words comply to a
known plan is
liable to
make a risible piece of
nonsense
out of your
poetic
quest.
Somebody stop me....aaaaargh!
Best,
tectak
....good punctuation, nonetheless.
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Rocky Star,
"profundicate" how did I miss "profundicate"? What a time to not have my pocket unabridged OED with me. I'm totally profundicated. Wait, here it is.
Profundicate:
from Latin profundus: deep bottom
and
and the Latin catus: shrewd.
Definition: a shrewd bottom, or smart ass!
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"sublime speech on world peace" "sublime speech" an oxymoron of the 4th degree. On world peace no less. Only goes to show people can imagine the impossible with hardly any effort at all.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
