My brother said

[Keith]

All alone tucked up in bed,
remember what your brother said,
if you can hear the faintest noise,
it's hairy hands that strangle boys.

The softest click of a wardrobe latch,
contains a monster, hear it scratch.
Always close that cupboard door,
or through that gap blood will pour.

Listen close for night time growls,
beasts of hell will start to prowl,
in the dark a shadow shifts,
hold your breath their bite is swift.

Never leave a doll to stare,
or sit her watching from a chair,
for as the clock strikes half past one,
you'll look back and see she's gone.

If your curtain begins to billow,
bury yourself in quilt and pillow,
then in the morning be sure to check,
for two small bite marks on your neck.

[fim]

All alone tucked up in bed,
remember what your brother said,
if you hear the faintest noise,
it's hairy hands that strangle boys.

The softest click of a wardrobe latch,
contains a monster hear it scratch,
always close that cupboard door,
or through that gap blood will pour.

Listen close for night time growls,
beasts of hell will start to prowl,
in the dark a shadow shifts,
hold your breath their bite is swift.

Never leave a doll to stare,
or face her sitting in a chair,
for as the clock strikes half past one,
you'll look back and see she's gone.

If your curtain begins to billow,
bury yourself in quilt and pillow,
then in the morning be sure to check,
for two small bite marks on your neck.

TimeOnMyHands,
You maintained a consistent and uncompromised rhyme scheme throughout the entirety of your poem. Nice job! Those same comments apply to your poem's meter as well: consistent and uncompromised. Your poem is straightforward and addresses your subject matter well. I have two peeves that are incidental; one regarding punctuation, the other a line whose wording I find a "distraction."
I believe the second stanza would be best punctuated as 2 - two line sentences. And in the second line of the first sentence I think a comma between monster and hear helps a reader to establish a necessary pause.
I found the fourth stanza, second line: "or face her sitting in a chair," a little distracting because I am, "All alone tucked up in bed." When did I get up and "face her sitting in a chair"? Of course I know it is the doll facing the boy, sitting in the chair ... but each time I read it the alternative interpretation distracted me. As I said - incidental. What I REALLY liked was that I think your most captivating stanzas, your first and your last, were right where they should be!
VERY nice poem TimeOnMyHands!
Cheers,
fim

[Keith]

All alone tucked up in bed,
remember what your brother said,
if you hear the faintest noise,
it's hairy hands that strangle boys.

The softest click of a wardrobe latch,
contains a monster hear it scratch,
always close that cupboard door,
or through that gap blood will pour.

Listen close for night time growls,
beasts of hell will start to prowl,
in the dark a shadow shifts,
hold your breath their bite is swift.

Never leave a doll to stare,
or face her sitting in a chair,
for as the clock strikes half past one,
you'll look back and see she's gone.

If your curtain begins to billow,
bury yourself in quilt and pillow,
then in the morning be sure to check,
for two small bite marks on your neck.

TimeOnMyHands,
You maintained a consistent and uncompromised rhyme scheme throughout the entirety of your poem. Nice job! Those same comments apply to your poem's meter as well: consistent and uncompromised. Your poem is straightforward and addresses your subject matter well. I have two peeves that are incidental; one regarding punctuation, the other a line whose wording I find a "distraction."
I believe the second stanza would be best punctuated as 2 - two line sentences. And in the second line of the first sentence I think a comma between monster and hear helps a reader to establish a necessary pause.
I found the fourth stanza, second line: "or face her sitting in a chair," a little distracting because I am, "All alone tucked up in bed." When did I get up and "face her sitting in a chair"? Of course I know it is the doll facing the boy, sitting in the chair ... but each time I read it the alternative interpretation distracted me. As I said - incidental. What I REALLY liked was that I think your most captivating stanzas, your first and your last, were right where they should be!
VERY nice poem TimeOnMyHands!
Cheers,
fim

Hi fim
Thank you for your comments they are spot on, and I have made the edits you suggest, all for the better, many thanks. Keith