Posts: 848
Threads: 231
Joined: Oct 2012
As I drive down copper tracks,
I bathe in a dark neon afterglow
that partially lights the blue hue
of micro farad Marriott’s.
Solder hillocks line the road
connecting the underground.
Coloured bands of static
railway resistors sit in sidings.
High rise relay tenements,
that click, spark and chatter.
Shopping centres on steel stilts,
LED traffic lights stuck on red.
The processing plant pulses
radiated heat over the city.
Rising plumes of disturbed dust
vortex from bladed fans.
Overheated streets melt rivers of flux,
unseen commands hold basic control,
mindless society complete daily tasks,
memories are cherished until cached.
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
Posts: 280
Threads: 42
Joined: Mar 2013
I wonder if 'bath' should be 'bathe'? I'm sorry I can't offer more right now, but my English seems to be failing me some tonight.
Best,
Louise
Posts: 848
Threads: 231
Joined: Oct 2012
(08-16-2013, 09:00 AM)Volaticus Wrote: I wonder if 'bath' should be 'bathe'? I'm sorry I can't offer more right now, but my English seems to be failing me some tonight.
Best,
Louise
Thanks Louise
bathe it is done a quick edit. Thanks Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
the city of my desktop.
no crit. i liked it, it was different and at the same time made sense
Posts: 69
Threads: 9
Joined: Aug 2013
(08-16-2013, 07:59 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote: As I drive down copper tracks,
I bathe in a dark neon afterglow
that partially lights the blue hue
of micro farad Marriott’s,
swollen with latent energy.
Solder hillocks line the road
connecting the underground.
Coloured bands of static
railway resistors sit in sidings
tolerance marked by silver or gold
High rise relay tenements,
that click, spark and chatter.
Shopping centres on steel stilts,
gated by depletion barriers.
LED traffic lights stuck on red.
The processing plant pulses
radiated heat over the city.
Rising plumes of disturbed dust
silent fall out, settling like snow.
Filtered air vortexes on bladed fans.
All the boymen love scaletrix, me, I just found it damn annoying that the car never stayed where you wanted it to if you took it above a certain speed.
< no idea
Posts: 848
Threads: 231
Joined: Oct 2012
(08-18-2013, 02:14 AM)ScurryFunger Wrote: (08-16-2013, 07:59 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote: As I drive down copper tracks,
I bathe in a dark neon afterglow
that partially lights the blue hue
of micro farad Marriott’s.
Solder hillocks line the road
connecting the underground.
Coloured bands of static
railway resistors sit in sidings.
High rise relay tenements,
that click, spark and chatter.
Shopping centres on steel stilts,
LED traffic lights stuck on red.
The processing plant pulses
radiated heat over the city.
Rising plumes of disturbed dust
vortex from bladed fans.
Overheated streets melt rivers of flux,
unseen commands hold basic control,
mindless society complete daily tasks,
memories are cherished until they are cached.
All the boymen love scaletrix, me, I just found it damn annoying that the car never stayed where you wanted it to if you took it above a certain speed.
< no idea
Yes its all in the finger you know.
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
