picnic
#1
Come take my hand for a stroll in the park
for an afternoon picnic that lasts till it's dark
There won't be an anthill or a wasp to be seen
just the setting of sun on a magical scene
With a lake that's the colour of improbable blue
and a light in my eyes that shines just for you

Ok
that's quite enough of that

How easy you do things
a stroll in the park attitude
branches leapt in single bounds
gliding through your picnic style life
compartmentalised containers
and a tarten blanket metaphor
spread under pink tinged clouds
that darkness never touches
if the wind did dare to
place ripples on that lake
your scowl would chase them away
in an instant

I love you

Me
I'm always a sandwich short




---------------------------------------------------------


Come take my hand for a stroll in the park
for an afternoon picnic that lasts till it's dark.
There won't be an anthill or a wasp to be seen
just the setting of sun on a magical scene.
With a lake that's the colour of improbable blue
and a light in my eyes that shines just for you.

Ok,
that's quite enough of that.

How easy you do things,
a stroll in the park attitude,
branches leapt in single bounds.
Gliding through your picnic style life.
Compartmentalised containers
and a tarten blanket metaphor
spread under pink tinged clouds
that darkness never touches.
If the wind did dare to
place ripples on that lake
your scowl would chase them away
in an instant.

I love you.

Me?
I'm always a sandwich short.
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#2
happy day dream to reality great stuff, made me smile, laughed at the ending thanks TOMH

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#3
(08-10-2013, 06:36 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote:  happy day dream to reality great stuff, made me smile, laughed at the ending thanks TOMH

Thanks, should I take all the punctuation out though? I think I will do it.
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#4
(08-10-2013, 06:50 AM)ScurryFunger Wrote:  
(08-10-2013, 06:36 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote:  happy day dream to reality great stuff, made me smile, laughed at the ending thanks TOMH

Thanks, should I take all the punctuation out though? I think I will do it.

Personally I would leave it as it helps the reader IMO and dictates how you want it to be read. best TOMH

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
Reply
#5
(08-10-2013, 07:00 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote:  
(08-10-2013, 06:50 AM)ScurryFunger Wrote:  
(08-10-2013, 06:36 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote:  happy day dream to reality great stuff, made me smile, laughed at the ending thanks TOMH

Thanks, should I take all the punctuation out though? I think I will do it.

Personally I would leave it as it helps the reader IMO and dictates how you want it to be read. best TOMH


Oh, right I was a bit hasty?
Reply
#6
they both work.
i enjoyed both of em Wink
Reply
#7
(08-10-2013, 07:46 AM)billy Wrote:  they both work.
i enjoyed both of em Wink

lol, helpfull
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