08-15-2013, 04:52 PM
Just got back into writing and this is all the emotion and feeling I have kept in my head for years. Basically it's raw emotion, I can make edits in the morning
In my head-
Most people fear the monster in the closet or under the bed. While I sit here the real monster is inside my head. It sleeps with me at night with murderous dreams. It tears at my soul with horrendous screams.
I don't think I've lost my mind, I just can't find it. I can't find my heart, but I haven't lost it.
Most people see salvation in the sun, I see the burns it creates. I see penance in the moon, the serenity it embraces.
In my head I acknowledge my loneliness and pretend it's not real. In my head I acknowledge how close I am to nothing. Repeating, close to nowhere, down to nothing.
I've always told my self I'm not pretty enough. My heart is too broken, I'm too outspoken, I cry too much, and that's why I let it all rain on me.
In the end I'm still in a constant battle. A battle with me, I'm my own shadow of death. I try as hard as I can to be my own shoulder of health. I convince myself that I can save my self, but they shot me down. A thousand shards of myself cut more pieces, I'm watching me drown.
These thoughts aren't alone, these feelings aren't hallow. I promise I won't be a drone, Throw those thoughts to the gallows!
It's constant conflict. I've been left on my own to survive, me and reality we just don't get along.
All the struggle, they won't hear me, they don't care. It's a muffle ,they won't get in, they act like they care.
I know I'm alone now, to fight my own self. Natives always talked about 2 wolves fighting within every person. Scattered and I've lost myself again. Stop and stare and you'll see things move. Stop if you dare ,you'll begin to lose. All that's real slips and fades. I sit here waiting for those days.
My times is up, so sit up, let's bring this war back up to scale. I won't give up, if I do it'll be another's chore. When I feel, it goes deep, which makes me my own worst enemy. So let's take advantage of what we have and i'll take the remedy. I won't back down no matter the cost. It's all nothing compared to what I've already lost.
In my head, it's a battle, I'm just looking for somebody to be an ally
In the end, it's a battle, I'm just the bad guy.
In my head-
Most people fear the monster in the closet or under the bed. While I sit here the real monster is inside my head. It sleeps with me at night with murderous dreams. It tears at my soul with horrendous screams.
I don't think I've lost my mind, I just can't find it. I can't find my heart, but I haven't lost it.
Most people see salvation in the sun, I see the burns it creates. I see penance in the moon, the serenity it embraces.
In my head I acknowledge my loneliness and pretend it's not real. In my head I acknowledge how close I am to nothing. Repeating, close to nowhere, down to nothing.
I've always told my self I'm not pretty enough. My heart is too broken, I'm too outspoken, I cry too much, and that's why I let it all rain on me.
In the end I'm still in a constant battle. A battle with me, I'm my own shadow of death. I try as hard as I can to be my own shoulder of health. I convince myself that I can save my self, but they shot me down. A thousand shards of myself cut more pieces, I'm watching me drown.
These thoughts aren't alone, these feelings aren't hallow. I promise I won't be a drone, Throw those thoughts to the gallows!
It's constant conflict. I've been left on my own to survive, me and reality we just don't get along.
All the struggle, they won't hear me, they don't care. It's a muffle ,they won't get in, they act like they care.
I know I'm alone now, to fight my own self. Natives always talked about 2 wolves fighting within every person. Scattered and I've lost myself again. Stop and stare and you'll see things move. Stop if you dare ,you'll begin to lose. All that's real slips and fades. I sit here waiting for those days.
My times is up, so sit up, let's bring this war back up to scale. I won't give up, if I do it'll be another's chore. When I feel, it goes deep, which makes me my own worst enemy. So let's take advantage of what we have and i'll take the remedy. I won't back down no matter the cost. It's all nothing compared to what I've already lost.
In my head, it's a battle, I'm just looking for somebody to be an ally
In the end, it's a battle, I'm just the bad guy.
