(08-05-2013, 01:07 AM)rowens Wrote: It has a really boxed, stiff style.
Were you trying to do something like that?
Well, these are the lyrics to the first song I've ever tried to write (just started teaching myself guitar about 2 months ago), and I wrote the tune first. Then I wrote the words while playing the song's main chord progression (C, G, Dm, Am) to fit that progression, so that might explain it.
(08-05-2013, 01:07 AM)rowens Wrote: It has a really boxed, stiff style.
Were you trying to do something like that?
Well, these are the lyrics to the first song I've ever tried to write (just started teaching myself guitar about 2 months ago), and I wrote the tune first. Then I wrote the words while playing the song's main chord progression (C, G, Dm, Am) to fit that progression, so that might explain it.
I took a quick stab at it, of course it is all open because I can't find a capo and I recorded it using my computer mic which kind of sucks.
(08-05-2013, 01:07 AM)rowens Wrote: It has a really boxed, stiff style.
Were you trying to do something like that?
Well, these are the lyrics to the first song I've ever tried to write (just started teaching myself guitar about 2 months ago), and I wrote the tune first. Then I wrote the words while playing the song's main chord progression (C, G, Dm, Am) to fit that progression, so that might explain it.
I took a quick stab at it, of course it is all open because I can't find a capo and I recorded it using my computer mic which kind of sucks.
That was really good! It was cool to hear someone else do it, I sing it much softer but your version had some great power to it. I've made some changes to the song, added some new parts in.
Also, after every two stanzas of C, G, Dm, Am I do a sort of bridge of: Em, F, C, Em, C, G, Dm, Am back into the main progression of C, G, Dm, Am with the next two stanzas. I'd love to hear you try it now that it's more fleshed out.
(08-05-2013, 01:39 AM)Wjames Wrote: Well, these are the lyrics to the first song I've ever tried to write (just started teaching myself guitar about 2 months ago), and I wrote the tune first. Then I wrote the words while playing the song's main chord progression (C, G, Dm, Am) to fit that progression, so that might explain it.
I took a quick stab at it, of course it is all open because I can't find a capo and I recorded it using my computer mic which kind of sucks.
That was really good! It was cool to hear someone else do it, I sing it much softer but your version had some great power to it. I've made some changes to the song, added some new parts in.
Also, after every two stanzas of C, G, Dm, Am I do a sort of bridge of: Em, F, C, Em, C, G, Dm, Am back into the main progression of C, G, Dm, Am with the next two stanzas. I'd love to hear you try it now that it's more fleshed out.
I actually start the progression on the Am, so I go Am, C, G, Dm. Post your version so I can get a feel for the strum pattern instead of just stabbing in the dark here. i almost did a dark "alternative" version of it but . . . meh . . whatever.
(08-05-2013, 09:09 AM)milo Wrote: I took a quick stab at it, of course it is all open because I can't find a capo and I recorded it using my computer mic which kind of sucks.
That was really good! It was cool to hear someone else do it, I sing it much softer but your version had some great power to it. I've made some changes to the song, added some new parts in.
Also, after every two stanzas of C, G, Dm, Am I do a sort of bridge of: Em, F, C, Em, C, G, Dm, Am back into the main progression of C, G, Dm, Am with the next two stanzas. I'd love to hear you try it now that it's more fleshed out.
I actually start the progression on the Am, so I go Am, C, G, Dm. Post your version so I can get a feel for the strum pattern instead of just stabbing in the dark here. i almost did a dark "alternative" version of it but . . . meh . . whatever.
I have it recorded in an MP3 file (real bad quality, recorded it on my iphone), but I'm not sure how to post it to this site.
(08-05-2013, 09:31 AM)Wjames Wrote: That was really good! It was cool to hear someone else do it, I sing it much softer but your version had some great power to it. I've made some changes to the song, added some new parts in.
Also, after every two stanzas of C, G, Dm, Am I do a sort of bridge of: Em, F, C, Em, C, G, Dm, Am back into the main progression of C, G, Dm, Am with the next two stanzas. I'd love to hear you try it now that it's more fleshed out.
I actually start the progression on the Am, so I go Am, C, G, Dm. Post your version so I can get a feel for the strum pattern instead of just stabbing in the dark here. i almost did a dark "alternative" version of it but . . . meh . . whatever.
I have it recorded in an MP3 file (real bad quality, recorded it on my iphone), but I'm not sure how to post it to this site.
08-05-2013, 10:53 AM (This post was last modified: 08-05-2013, 10:56 AM by billy.)
the thread won't close but please do future threads of this nature in miscellaneous guys.
as long as it's an mp3 file, you just save it online to somewhere that allows hotlinking (kiwi) and then hotlink to it using the mp3 tags.
okay you already did that
yah, that was my fault (like usual). I guess I should have just posted a link to the audio, I get bored sometimes and you did post the lyrics and the chord progression so . . .
(08-05-2013, 09:31 AM)Wjames Wrote: That was really good! It was cool to hear someone else do it, I sing it much softer but your version had some great power to it. I've made some changes to the song, added some new parts in.
Also, after every two stanzas of C, G, Dm, Am I do a sort of bridge of: Em, F, C, Em, C, G, Dm, Am back into the main progression of C, G, Dm, Am with the next two stanzas. I'd love to hear you try it now that it's more fleshed out.
I actually start the progression on the Am, so I go Am, C, G, Dm. Post your version so I can get a feel for the strum pattern instead of just stabbing in the dark here. i almost did a dark "alternative" version of it but . . . meh . . whatever.
Structurally, this is more sound. Starting on the minor tonic and ending the progression on the minor 5th. However, I have found that minor progressions work better when descending the scale, but this could work, depending on the melody.
well, since they are both in the thread you are replying to , just push the play button
(08-05-2013, 10:50 AM)Wjames Wrote:
There we go, I figured it out.
Are you using power chords?
Try it starting on Am and . . . try singing just a little bit louder. I see what you are going for now, if I can get everyone the fuck out of here later I will try a emo version (like yours)
(08-06-2013, 06:46 AM)newsclippings Wrote: I like what you did, Wjames. Sounds like Elliot Smith and Bright Eyes had a baby. Though I do agree you should sing it a touch louder.
Thanks, Elliott Smith is my favourite musician so that's nice to hear. I just re-recorded it with my iphone nearer to my face so it captures my vocals better (which isn't necessarily a good thing):
Also, thanks for the input trueenigma, I tried it your way but I prefer my progression. I'd like to hear your version though, so I could really see what you mean.
first I took around 20 valium, then I contemplated my navel for around an hour. I considered cutting myself but chickened out. Then I tuned my guitar down to D, so while this is technically your original chord progression, these chords are not quite the same. Finally, I tried to match your melody line as much as i could. As someone so graciously pointed out, I don't have the voice for this, but here it is, with your added vocals, my emo version:
i'll move this thread to miscellaneous now, in case it sets a trend 
