I like the fact
that we kissed
though I smoked
My breath was terrible
and my kissing
was awful
How was my taste
was it tenderness?
or was it just filthy nicotine
Did I make up for it
just by being me
Or was the nicotine
the problem with me
I like the taste of cigarettes on girls' breath. Don't see the dichotomy between a taste of nicotine and a tender sensation.
But maybe I need to get out more. The world's changing.
Posts: 123
Threads: 15
Joined: Jun 2013
(07-29-2013, 07:58 AM)jonasdj95 Wrote: I like the fact
that we kissed
though I smoked
My breath was terrible
and my kissing
was awful
How was my taste
was it tenderness?
or was it just filthy nicotine
Did I make up for it
just by being me
Or was the nicotine
the problem with me
This isn't in a critique forum so I'll just comment on the one line I could see you do better on " My breathe was terrible" is vague, maybe "My breathe smelt of cigarette" as we can better understand that as a reason. terrible could imply that you just ate chitlins (chitterlings) or beef jerky.
I once told this blond chick to screw in a light bulb..
She got naked and asked "how do I get in it?"
