Poem: Train

[digna_sofia]

Start

then another
beginning

A deep breath

all the while you say
"A little more."

with furious grace
move forward with

"Almost there"

A push
in the direction
of what-knows-what before

A hiccup

then another
end

Stop

[billy]

i have no idea what it says but i love it

form the title i'd take a stab at how we construct a poem
the write the edit the 2nd edit etc.

i think it's light and sweet with a hint of ironic mirth
i think it's very very good. thanks for the read. ds.
hope to see a few more from you as time and trains move on

[digna_sofia]

Thank you very much! I was nervous about this one. This gives me the confidence to write a bit more.

[mrmod]

I took that poem perhaps in a way that was not intended. But it's good, don't fret. May I ask what it's about :angel:?

[digna_sofia]

SidewaysDan: It could pertain to a lot of things, actually. It was intended to be a poem on hobbies or endeavors, but reading it as mild erotica (I'm assuming you read it that way XD) isn't a wrong interpretation, because interpretations are just that - interpretations. Thank you for reading

[billy]

weird, usually the pervert in me would
have seen that too but i missed it

[mrmod]

SidewaysDan: It could pertain to a lot of things, actually. It was intended to be a poem on hobbies or endeavors, but reading it as mild erotica (I'm assuming you read it that way XD) isn't a wrong interpretation, because interpretations are just that - interpretations. Thank you for reading

It was just one of the things that struck me about the poem . But I love its' ambiguity (well, the ambiguity that I see in it ).

Can't wait to see some more .

And Billy, are you becoming mature ??

[billy]

Can't wait to see some more .

And Billy, are you becoming mature ??

when i told DS that i never saw the perv side, she rebuked me with;

that's because you're my step dad

normally i do try and find extra levels of a write even if they're not intended.

truthfully i just saw a good hoenst straightforward poem.

if the writer indeed did intend it to work on both levels, then it's extra masterful, because when one see's or it's pointed out it carries that WOW factor.

that you saw it (whether she intended it that way or not says much about your powers of observation....you twat. well done (meant in a good way )

[addy]

Excellent poem, the form looks pretty much perfect to me I really felt the tension there, and was really holding my breath!

[digna_sofia]

Addy: Thank you, but you always were too nice with your comments Nevertheless, thank you.

[addy]

Addy: Thank you, but you always were too nice with your comments Nevertheless, thank you.

LOL!

[jekupsiller]

Hi friends,
Thanks for sharing.It's really nice.I took poetry can be a way that was not expected. But do not worry. Can I ask what is it Angel?

please don't spam the poetry section
have you no decency. Your spam has been removed. You have been warned/Admin

[Bianca Alabaster]

I liked it very much too, have to admit - my mind went right away to the intimate sexual train collision between mates, great stuff! thanks