Leaving long ago

[Keith]

Seem to be so alone,
talk brings nothing new,
we're only drifting through
old emotions, me and you.

Listen for the empty house,
melancholy flower ears,
folded deep by wasted years,
apathy that no one hears.

Asleep, I slump in stranger bars,
no grief for feelings lost,
or words I've spat and coughed,
it's time the shirt came off.

[cidermaid]

Hi,

another interesting and solid read you have offered here.
Perhaps one small typo I think.
S1 - L3 was that meant to be we're.

I think this poem really turns on the last line. Love the illusion to the hair shirt that puts the rest of the poem into the perspective of self pity that is about to be shaken off.

Particularly liked the flower ears image. Thought this was something new and fresh. I saw this as a tightly closed flower waiting for the sun to open it and sort of sat in limbo sulking because there was no sun today.
All the best AJ.

[Keith]

Hi,

another interesting and solid read you have offered here.
Perhaps one small typo I think.
S1 - L3 was that meant to be we're.

I think this poem really turns on the last line. Love the illusion to the hair shirt that puts the rest of the poem into the perspective of self pity that is about to be shaken off.

Particularly liked the flower ears image. Thought this was something new and fresh. I saw this as a tightly closed flower waiting for the sun to open it and sort of sat in limbo sulking because there was no sun today.
All the best AJ.

Many thanks AJ, as ever you see it all, this was a sulky piece sitting in a bar wallowing in self pity. Glad the ear thing came across as trying to say after a while you just stop listenig, I like the way you interpet the hair shirt, although in all honesty I just ment something needs to change. the hair shirt is much more symbolic and I wish I had thought of it.Thanks again Keith