the gnawing sensation in the back of my head (harsh language)

[sam]

The human problem v.2 (new title)

Different problems.
NO! the same problem.
Solution?
drugs games alcohol food cannabis consumerism self-loving self-hating self-harming selfishness appearance over-stimulation under-stimulation work medications masturbation

all in a vicious circle of dog shit and terror.

Fuck you Sony.
Fuck you H&M and your tow meter aliens.
Fuck you western imperialism that still goes strong.
Fuck you Christianity and your sacrilegious saints how eats flesh and drinks blood.
Fuck you Islam and take your fundamentalist along. It might be just what they need.
Fuck you Hinduism. Or mabye not there is enough copulation in the Ramayana.
Fuck you Apple the holy saint of consumerism
Fuck me for writhing this shit

Whats problem you say.
The problem I say.
The problem of being human I think.
Do you love your neighbor?
I don’t! he is human just like me.
Why strain for normality, wont we still be humans if we retch it ?
All our efforts are for nothing.
Is there no escape?
suicide, brain death, lobotomy, commercial radio, television
Help! Feed my brain! I’m thinking!

the gnawing sensation in the back of my head

Difrent problems.
NO! the same problem.
Solution?
drugs games alcohol food cannabis consumerism self-loving self-hating self-harming selfishness appearance over-stimulation under-stimulation work medications masturbation

all in a vicious circle of dog shit and terror.

Fuck you sony
Fuck you nestle
Fuck you bacardi
Fuck you H&M and your tow meter aliens
Fuck you porn industry
Fuck you western imperialism that still goes strong
Fuck you Christianity
Fuck you Judaism
Fuck you Islam
Fuck you Hinduism
Fuck you Apple
Fuck me four writhing this shit

What problem you say.
Problem I say.
The problem of being human I think.
Do you love your neighbor
I don’t he is human just like me.
Why strain four normality, wont we still be humans if we retch it ?
All our efforts are for nothing.
Is there no escape?
suicide, brain death, lobotomy, commercial radio, television
Help! Feed my brain! I’m thinking!

---

Just want to say that this is the first thing i ewer wright that i dare show to anyone.
And i want to add that I'm kind of dyslectic so critique against bad spelling is just as welcome as critique against the construction, flow and meaning.
Be harsh be men and say what you think.

Ho one more thing, did i post this in the right place?

[Bunx]

sam, first of all love the user name. second of all, i am not sure you did post this on the right site. i do enjoy this form of prose your have written, but it is hard to critique because i do not know what your going for. my favorite live is fuck you sony. yes sony, the human problem thanks for the poem sam

[sam]

Thanks for the answer. I have got sucked in to the beat generation the last few weeks so i guess that this is something in that area.
But i think that I might have failed big time and it turned out like some strange kind of misfit. I will berry it behind the local post office in the dead of night so no more people will need to be harmed by this felony against good taste. Seeing it like this on a web page gives good perspective
thanks for your patience.

[Heartafire]

This is a fine vent. I think spoken (ranted) aloud would have a huge impact whereas reading this doesn't really come across as it is might be intended. I would not bury it, but you could work on it a bit, there is good to be sieved. A few too many "fucks", you might go off in a different direction to avoid the annoying repetition. Just my opinion, to be binned at will. Of course the spelling issues need attending. Enjoyed it.
Best,
Heart

[jdguyb]

Dude seriously, this poem is great. I found my self relating to with the fuck you's. you really connected to me great poem

[Bunx]

no problem. this beat meter it pretty witty too. keep at it. you will be there in no time