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The bubble burst too soon,
from spittle-chased lips she slipped,
blown into being on a blighted breeze,
soul danced over summer gardens,
weightless with early complications,
cradled in a falling feather's sway,
breathless to her mother’s arm,
she aged as an idea in my palm.
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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Posts: 1,568
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Joined: Jun 2011
oh
From the ephemeral, childlike image of the bubble to the tiny, palm-sized idea, this is perfect.
It could be worse
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(06-29-2013, 07:08 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote: The bubble burst too soon,
from spittle-chased lips she slipped,
blown into being on a blighted breeze,
soul danced over summer gardens,
weightless with early complications,
cradled in a falling feathers sway, feather's
breathless to her mother’s arm,
she aged as an idea in my palm.
....but that's it. Beautifully constructed from words dipped in glitter. Sometimes I get to read someone else's thoughts. It is a privilege. Thanks.
Very best,
tectak
Posts: 522
Threads: 48
Joined: Nov 2012
Beautifuly done Kieth.
You've captured so much in such a short space - image rich yet fleeting... which in itself is a re-statment of the title and poem thread. This is a poignant read brilliantly done.
AJ.
Posts: 848
Threads: 231
Joined: Oct 2012
(06-29-2013, 07:17 AM)billy Wrote: a sad one indeed.
It is, thanks Billy
(06-29-2013, 07:22 AM)Leanne Wrote: oh
From the ephemeral, childlike image of the bubble to the tiny, palm-sized idea, this is perfect.
Thanks Leanne, much appreciated. Keith
(06-29-2013, 08:29 AM)tectak Wrote: (06-29-2013, 07:08 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote: The bubble burst too soon,
from spittle-chased lips she slipped,
blown into being on a blighted breeze,
soul danced over summer gardens,
weightless with early complications,
cradled in a falling feathers sway, feather's
breathless to her mother’s arm,
she aged as an idea in my palm.
....but that's it. Beautifully constructed from words dipped in glitter. Sometimes I get to read someone else's thoughts. It is a privilege. Thanks.
Very best,
tectak
Many thanks tectak for the kinds words and feather's. Keith
(06-29-2013, 05:00 PM)cidermaid Wrote: Beautifuly done Kieth.
You've captured so much in such a short space - image rich yet fleeting... which in itself is a re-statment of the title and poem thread. This is a poignant read brilliantly done.
AJ.
Thanks AJ it's a bit heavy this one, thanks for your kind words. Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
