A journey went wrong

[TheLittleGuy]

Once I went on a journey
But I haven't got enough strength from my attorney
So it is now over and done
And all I have left is fever but no fun.

I was happy a long time ago
In a place I did not know
And now I can no longer glow..

I'm standing here all lonely
Waiting for my train in agony
Many trains have passed
But I couldn't get on a train because I was harassed
By something vast..

I tried to regain my happiness very hard
But I end up stuck in a railway yard
And now I can only hope and pray
So perhaps I may have a good day
Because otherwise I will rot and decay

[Ela]

I'm not sure I fully understand what you are trying to express with your poem.
I generally enjoy poems that rhyme, but if they do, I find it important, that they keep a consistent structure and that the verses all rhyme nicely.
"I'm standing here all lonely
Waiting for my train in agony" doesn't really rhyme, and in some places I feel like the rythm doesn't flow nicely.
I sort of like the idea of the journey though and I think the last stanza is not bad!

[MissKiss]

it's good that you kept the train image central, but i'm not sure how the image ties in or what the overall emotion of this piece was. at points the rhyme scheme feels a little forced and choppy. this is a good start and def has potential. keep writing

[R.C. KITCHENS]

Once I went on a journey
But I haven't got enough strength from my attorney
So it is now over and done
And all I have left is fever but no fun.

I was happy a long time ago
In a place I did not know
And now I can no longer glow..

I'm standing here all lonely
Waiting for my train in agony
Many trains have passed
But I couldn't get on a train because I was harassed
By something vast..

I tried to regain my happiness very hard
But I end up stuck in a railway yard
And now I can only hope and pray
So perhaps I may have a good day
Because otherwise I will rot and decay

I didnt get the line about "strength from my attorney" I think if you could delve a little more into this journey you once went on that it would be more understandable. I feel like you can use this as a great starting point to add depth to and build some solid imagery in. I really didnt take to the rhyming though, it was simple and sometimes choppy. I think some elements may be missing for the sake of the rhyme. work on it, and welcome.

[fim]

Once I went on a journey
But I haven't got enough strength from my attorney
So it is now over and done
And all I have left is fever but no fun.

I was happy a long time ago
In a place I did not know
And now I can no longer glow..

I'm standing here all lonely
Waiting for my train in agony
Many trains have passed
But I couldn't get on a train because I was harassed
By something vast..

I tried to regain my happiness very hard
But I end up stuck in a railway yard
And now I can only hope and pray
So perhaps I may have a good day
Because otherwise I will rot and decay

This is my first critique so please don't be offended if I mess it up. After reading your poem several times I came away thinking it was a metaphor for a relationship that went bad ... that "...standing here all alone/waiting for my train in agony" alludes to the emotional baggage you might be carrying from the previous relationship that hinders you from continuing life's journey on (or with) another "train." Of course if you don't muster sufficient motivation to join with another train, well you might "rot and decay" in the railway yard (of life). I like your poem LittleGuy.