< not with yellow flowers >

[rayheinrich]

< not with yellow flowers >

i start out trying
to write a poem about yellow flowers

about the ones i saw today

these yellow flowers
are the first flowers of spring
even before the skunk cabbages
in the low parts of the river bed

but another poem about yellow flowers?

it's like making a movie about two
people finding each other and
disliking each other then
falling deeply in love

it's been done

by wonderful poets

(the yellow flowers, i mean)

but maybe you haven't read them
those wonderful poets
and you're reading me right now
so possibly
i can get away with it

but i want more

and who has more?

TV

the TV knows

i turn on
the "today's worst" news
and listen to the body counts
of the firearms companies
and watch
how that couple from the 23rd floor
learned to fly
and listen
to the 911 recording
that child left

see

it works

that's how you do it

not with yellow flowers

- - -

[milo]

what is going on with these line breaks?

[billy]

i placed my yellow flower
in the muzzle of his rifle
and said

"peace man"

then
got shot in the face

them soldier's
don't fuck with yellow flower
shit

[rayheinrich]

what is going on with these line breaks?

End of line denotes a slight pause and/or end of phrase.
Blank line indicates a longer pause and/or end of stanza.
My other poems are (mostly) like this as well. I don't enjoy
cutting thoughts (or delivery) in pieces just to make the lines
even. Though, oddly enough, I do regular old comments this
way. Hmmm...

---

i placed my yellow flower
in the muzzle of his rifle
and said

"peace man"

then
got shot in the face

them soldier's
don't fuck with yellow flower
shit

Use a bigger flower next time.
If the diameter of the stem is large enough, his/her damn rifle
will explode. Then the last line will be: "don't fuck with yellow flowers"

[milo]

what is going on with these line breaks?

End of line denotes a slight pause and/or end of phrase.
Blank line indicates a longer pause and/or end of stanza.
My other poems are (mostly) like this as well. I don't enjoy
cutting thoughts (or delivery) in pieces just to make the lines
even. Though, oddly enough, I do regular old comments this
way. Hmmm...

---

when is a question not a question?

[Bunx]

get the point of this poem. i feel like it is more of a rhyming statement of sorts. that flowers are dandy. but tv gets your attention, or something along those lines. i feel it is hard to get a theme out of here for me

[Brownlie]

I don't think they considered flowers at Kent state when the guns blasted. I remember a picture they hung in elementary schools where there was one yellow flower amidst a sea of identical red flowers. Yellow is a rather ostentatious color. How would one describe the texture of a petal on a yellow flower? Beauty is as ephemeral as the bloom of a flower... Asking why repeatedly can lead to an infinite regress.

[Bunx]

hmm so a dandy lion could be a bigger symbol for the television? makes alot of sense. sense for the response brownlie

---

thanks**

[rayheinrich]

when is a question not a question?

.
When it's rhetorical?

When is sarcasm not sarcasm?

---

get the point of this poem. i feel like it is more of a rhyming statement of sorts. that flowers are dandy. but tv gets your attention, or something along those lines. i feel it is hard to get a theme out of here for me

.
Me too. (It's because the poem sucks purple donkey dicks.)
.

---

one yellow flower amidst a sea of identical red flowers.


.
Well, not enough red ones, but that was the best I could do.
.

Asking why repeatedly can lead to an infinite regress.

.
A few well-placed "because"'s can usually stop it.
.

---

hmm so a dandy lion could be a bigger symbol for the television? makes alot of sense. sense for the response brownlie

---

thanks**

.
No one has noticed that the picture with the poem
is of a microwave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

This poem, besides sucking, has more layers of metaphorical narrative
than all of us have dirty underpants. So much for 'deep'.
Hint: One of the many things the yellow flowers symbolize (in the
semiotic sense, not the signage one) has something to do with
arnica cordifolia's penchant for a certain ranunculus.
.

[Brownlie]

when is a question not a question?

.
When it's rhetorical?

When is sarcasm not sarcasm?

---

get the point of this poem. i feel like it is more of a rhyming statement of sorts. that flowers are dandy. but tv gets your attention, or something along those lines. i feel it is hard to get a theme out of here for me

.
Me too. (It's because the poem sucks purple donkey dicks.)
.

---

one yellow flower amidst a sea of identical red flowers.


.
Well, not enough red ones, but that was the best I could do.
.

Asking why repeatedly can lead to an infinite regress.

.
A few well-placed "because"'s can usually stop it.
.

---

hmm so a dandy lion could be a bigger symbol for the television? makes alot of sense. sense for the response brownlie

---

thanks**

.
No one has noticed that the picture with the poem
is of a microwave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

This poem, besides sucking, has more layers of metaphorical narrative
than all of us have dirty underpants. So much for 'deep'.
Hint: One of the many things the yellow flowers symbolize (in the
semiotic sense, not the signage one) has something to do with
arnica cordifolia's penchant for a certain ranunculus.
.

I actually thought it might have been a microwave but I let the thought disintegrate. Doesn't semiotics study signs or does it involve symbols and signs? BTW microwaves use nuclear power don't they? I don't know if meaning dies when you go into metaphorical layers. Sucks is a term that implies measurement and comparison. Unless the poem is designed to "suck" or measured against the finest poetry it does not suck. I have seen much worse. I have been raised on t.v,s and microwaves and now I don't fear an instant nuclear destruction. I also have to try very hard to make my brain work, it goes on haphazard autopilot. If we are to believe in fairy tales our souls will fly when our burning bodies are pummeled by gravity and our husks are left as tenderized meat.

[milo]

[quote='milo' pid='129933' dateline='1371556997']
when is a question not a question?

.
When it's rhetorical?

When is sarcasm not sarcasm?

---

it's not sarcasm or rhetorical, it is a statement. It is miscellaneous and I don't feel comfortable critiquing something and you obviously aren't interested in receiving it but sometimes when you see something so awful you just have to say," what"