Dueling
#1
In olden times the men would duel each other.
It was often honor triggering fingers
and dealing death through those that conquer nature
For men must prove to other men their lack of fear.
By hiding palsied hands and feigning steadiness,
and taking deep inhales and standing stolid heroes.
In single file they would turn their backs on one another.
And then they’d have to face each other.
And then they’d pretend they couldn’t hear
The booming of the guns that roused them with fear.
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#2
I don't like "olden times" or the fact that you used "fear" twice.

In fact I think your first line should be removed.
Solid imagery. Though there's a hesitance with this poem that I can't put my finger on.
I'll be there in a minute.
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#3
(06-09-2013, 01:26 PM)newsclippings Wrote:  I don't like "olden times" or the fact that you used "fear" twice.

In fact I think your first line should be removed.
Solid imagery. Though there's a hesitance with this poem that I can't put my finger on.

I set out to write a sonnet, then I got lazy and tried to write in blank verse then I got frustrated and sort of gave up any semblence of order. Getting the sense arranged naturally with the sound can be frustrating. Thumbsup I wonder what kind of irrational love I'd have for a child
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#4
shall we duel wise mule,
fort i can't spell.
but casting, meh
i can't tell. so sell me on this
olden time duel.
so, we can all laugh a fool

newsy your in too
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
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