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Untitled poem
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05-22-2010, 09:17 AM
The brilliant sunset
©Bianca 12/01/09
the heavy rains the harvested field Together they brought Fire in the Mud The Reflection is more than the sum of me Be still my soul 
05-22-2010, 12:50 PM
my first read of the day,sets my mood nicely,thank you
 (05-22-2010, 09:17 AM)Bianca Alabaster Wrote:The Reflection this works on more than one level for me . apart from the sunsets reflection, i also get a reflection into oneself. the last line though a little cliche adds a certain cheekiness or should i say quirky, that while a little self indulgent takes the countryside and gives it your own (or the the person in the poem's) persona normally i'd say heavy rain and brilliant sunset were cliche but i think in this piece they work. i enjoyed the read, thanks for posting it Mimi 
05-24-2010, 09:01 AM
i was also struck by that reflection line, mainly because that's not what I would have chosen, and in that way it works. The rest of the images were... very nearly turbulent, or maybe not, but definitely powerful. Particularly fire in the mud. So "reflection" became a jarring moment of clarity that turned the whole meaning of the poem on its head. Great work
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
05-25-2010, 04:21 AM
Thank you for ur comments, you've got the poem to a T! That is why I could not give it a title. The title would have told the reader what they were about to see. The scene was powerfully God's, powerfully fire in the mud, the beauty took my breath away. I think part of my soul was forever caught in that moment and is out there still in that Reflection. And there is a reflection into oneself in this poem.
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