monkey the middle is

[Bunx]

So here I be
sitting in a tree.
Riding my bike up
and down.
My mind, on
foggy ground.

So here I am
sitting in this shop:
coffee pouring
drooling forgot.

I am forgetting
what it is like,
too be a young
tike. Thank god.

The pills are working

[shekutarna]

I would suggest adding tike to the third line, having the last line of the last stanza just as "Thank god too." I would also put a comma between drooling and forgot. Other then that I really like it, great use of unreliable narration.

[Brownlie]

So here I be
sitting in a tree.
Riding my bike up
and down.
My mind, on
foggy ground.

So here I am
sitting in this shop:
coffee pouring
drooling forgot.

I am forgetting
what it is like,
too be a young
tike. Thank god to.

The pills are working

I thinnk you've mixed up your to and toos. Your mental health thread started some good dialogue

[Bunx]

hehe i noticed it. but. meh

[Volaticus]

Hi,
The four first lines didn't really make sense to me. A bike. In a tree?
Cheers.

[Keith]

Bunx Wrote: So here I be
sitting in a tree.
Riding my bike up
and down.
My mind, on
foggy ground.

So here I am
sitting in this shop:
coffee pouring
drooling forgot.

I am forgetting
what it is like,
too be a young
tike. Thank god to.

The pills are working

The opening is simple and effective with images of child hood days climbing trees riding bikes but because of the title we also see the monkey riding a bike in a tree, makes me smile, I like the switch to drug controlled drooling and café coffee pots again strong images Another twist takes us from thinking you want to remember to thanking God you don't, I would drop the "to" in Thank god to, very much enjoyed, TOMH

[Bunx]

yea that to in the room is too much BS. thanks for all the critiques and positive feedback!