Fortune Cookie

[nomadpenguin]

I found hope after a cheap meal,
tossed onto our table
like an afterthought.

I told no one of the miracle
hidden away between the folds;
just slipped the scrap of paper
into my pocket,
and savored the taste of
the sweet golden future.

[UnicornRainbowCake]

Hi there, I really liked this poem and it's cleverness and then I saw you hadn't posted any critique anywhere else.

It left a sour taste in my mouth, like a mouldy fortune cookie.

[nomadpenguin]

Hi there, I really liked this poem and it's cleverness and then I saw you hadn't posted any critique anywhere else.

It left a sour taste in my mouth, like a mouldy fortune cookie.

Sorry, I'm completely new and I haven't gotten the chance to yet. About to do it right now.

[shekutarna]

Hey, that's great. I really like the idea of true hope being had from a dinky fortune cookie. Good word choice as well. Though I am not sure about the use of 'afterthought', its a little clunky and maybe not the most precise term.

[Ajax]

I really like this poem. It is short and compact but also has a profound meant that can be easily connected to. I would suggest changing 'sweet golden future', there is most definetely a better way to describe this.

[Volaticus]

I think this was a sweet little poem. Not really any crit to add right now.
Thanks for the read.

[R.C. KITCHENS]

I found hope after a cheap meal,
tossed onto our table
like an afterthought.

I told no one of the miracle
hidden away between the folds;
just slipped the scrap of paper
into my pocket,
and savored the taste of
the sweet golden future.

I think sweet golden future is long. Maybe you could shorten it to "sweet future" or "golden future". Otherwise, a short poem of visual imagery. I like it.