graveyard

[escorial]

read whats beneath
nature for company
people come and go

earth to ashes
ashes to dust
dust to earth

all burials
put us in a place
to let others know

atheist to muslim
muslim to christian
christian to atheist

death will unite
our diffrences
will be quiet

[tectak]

read whats beneath
nature for company
people come and go

earth to ashes
ashes to dust
dust to earth

all burials
put us in a place
to let others know

atheist to muslim
muslim to christian
christian to atheist

death will unite
our diffrences
will be quiet

Hi escorial,
This is not a poem where it is possible to get away without ANY punctuation because any linguine poetry needs more than the writer's assumption that we "all know what you mean".
"Read whats beneath nature for company people come and go" just ruins whatever fine thoughts you may be hoping to express, because you do not express.
If you ask for crit in this forum, I will not be drawn. Billy said it first...this is not a homework correction facility.
Short lines are just not helpful. Random line changes add nothing. Simple syntax errors are one thing but "....what(')s beneath is not what I want to be critting. Nor is the impudent typo "diff(e)rences".
For these, and other reasons, I would say that this is a good piece as far as it goes...no, I am not tempted to complete the cliche...but you do sail perilously close yourself with:
"come and go"
"earth to ashes
ashes to dust
dust to earth"
"death will unite"
Just finding a new way to say something (not by simply mixing up the word order) would make this piece sing. More imagery, more rhythm and more depth would help.
Final point. There is something in this concept which makes me think you could (and wanted) have said a lot more. I would have another go at it...
Best,
tectak

[saeity]

read whats beneath
nature for company
people come and go

earth to ashes
ashes to dust
dust to earth

all burials
put us in a place
to let others know

atheist to muslim
muslim to christian
christian to atheist

death will unite
our diffrences
will be quiet

R.I.P X

[Todd]

I don't think you need the first strophe at all. People come and go especially is just too overused. The rest of it though held together for me. While you flirt with ashes to ashes, dust to dust, you mix it up well enough that it doesn't stand out poorly. I also am not sure you need "death will unite" as the title graveyard actually gets you there. Beyond that, I liked it.

read whats beneath
nature for company
people come and go

earth to ashes
ashes to dust
dust to earth

all burials
put us in a place
to let others know

atheist to muslim
muslim to christian
christian to atheist

death will unite
our diffrences
will be quiet

[saeity]

I'm sorry to announce as from Tuesday Escorial is no longer with us R.I.P x

[Todd]

I'm sorry to announce as from Tuesday Escorial is no longer with us R.I.P x

Do you mean actually passed away?

[saeity]

Yes I'm afraid so

[rowens]

I read elsewhere that he died.

[Todd]

Yes I'm afraid so

That's very sad.

[tectak]

I read elsewhere that he died.

Hmm. That is very sad. Another who won't be at my party.

He was enigmatic...I never really read him right.
Too late now. Too late then.
tectak.

[Heartafire]

I was very saddened to hear this news. Life is very fragile, I regret that I did not get to know him here on the forum, read more of his writing.

[serge gurkski]

very sad! rowen just mentioned it yesterday to me. i think we had a very brief pm exchange in January, but that's it.
yes. may he rest in peace.

[billy]

i never knew the guy except to do an odd comment on his stuff in forum.
it sort of feels like he wrote his own obituary (please don't take that the wrong way)
do i crit the poem or just let it be?

poets don't die, they just get edited out. happy writing where ever you may be.

[serge gurkski]

it sort of feels like he wrote his own obituary (please don't take that the wrong way)

i had the very same thought as you, billy.

---

poets don't die, they just get edited out. happy writing where ever you may be.

fine words.

[serge gurkski]

To do honors

read whats beneath
nature for company
people come and go

beneath nature. Ok with me.
More important; nature for company: Yes.

earth to ashes
ashes to dust
dust to earth <<< I like this and you've done much worse bc I reread you. Still. Commas wouldn#t have hurt.

all burials
put us in a place
to let others know <<< sounds nice but am I impressed? As in: really? ;-)

atheist to muslim
muslim to christian
christian to atheist <<< I like this. But i#m kinky anyway. Ha! No, it is good.

death will unite
our diffrences <<< yep, beside the typo.
will be quiet <<< our differences will be quiet? Badly phrased. Sorry, dead or not.

summin it up.

No, death does not make poets posthumously

the essence of a poem is in this.

I now recall I did not consider you a poet yet.
I can be wrong. I stand by what i thought this January
and still deplore your loss.

---

to honor a man, to pay respect means to me: to say the truth.

[rowens]

This poem must have been true for him, as I hear he committed suicide. Unless what I hear is wrong.

[serge gurkski]

I don't know what he did why. It does not matter.

---

The love of my life committed suicide, too. so what? Should we join her? Not me. Consider me out of this.