01-23-2016, 03:43 AM
@aschueler
An interesting perspective, and actually pretty helpful. I don't think I'll post any further edits, but it's good to here from someone who has experience in the matter. Some of the technicalities are irrelevant, such as pushing the levers instead of pulling. Every instance I've heard of regarding such experiments says that they pull the levers, but I am by no means an authority on that matter. The matter of beeping, however, is one that concerns me a little. I understand completely that the action of the levers moving is not inherently silent, so there is a reason I make the note that they are silent in this instance. That said, I still don't like how I've written that line right now.
The phrase "chemical computers" should be looked at a bit carefully. Yes, I say the rats have noble beings, which should indicate an emotional factor. But the next step, calling them chemical computers, should have the effect of reducing that emotion to something physical, i.e., chemical reactions. Regarding the shaking, this line should be enough to say that these rats are not exactly just rats. I'm unsure about my use of the word "hands," as I feel it is too narrow for the point I am trying to make. And finally, the glass. The glass was originally a "window," which was a bit too specific for me. I expanded it to glass to allow the reader to consider a mirror, a window, or the cage walls. It seems most people assume a cyanide bottle, as I guess it's the most well-known experiment regarding such rats. On that note, I'll give a few points to consider when reading this piece.
1. The speaker does not say he is unhappy, only that these rats are happier.
2. The experiment in question is about if rats decide, not what they decide.
3. There is no mention of cyanide, cocaine, or any other sort of reward or punishment substance.
These three thing should be noted if anyone reads the piece a second time.
An interesting perspective, and actually pretty helpful. I don't think I'll post any further edits, but it's good to here from someone who has experience in the matter. Some of the technicalities are irrelevant, such as pushing the levers instead of pulling. Every instance I've heard of regarding such experiments says that they pull the levers, but I am by no means an authority on that matter. The matter of beeping, however, is one that concerns me a little. I understand completely that the action of the levers moving is not inherently silent, so there is a reason I make the note that they are silent in this instance. That said, I still don't like how I've written that line right now.
The phrase "chemical computers" should be looked at a bit carefully. Yes, I say the rats have noble beings, which should indicate an emotional factor. But the next step, calling them chemical computers, should have the effect of reducing that emotion to something physical, i.e., chemical reactions. Regarding the shaking, this line should be enough to say that these rats are not exactly just rats. I'm unsure about my use of the word "hands," as I feel it is too narrow for the point I am trying to make. And finally, the glass. The glass was originally a "window," which was a bit too specific for me. I expanded it to glass to allow the reader to consider a mirror, a window, or the cage walls. It seems most people assume a cyanide bottle, as I guess it's the most well-known experiment regarding such rats. On that note, I'll give a few points to consider when reading this piece.
1. The speaker does not say he is unhappy, only that these rats are happier.
2. The experiment in question is about if rats decide, not what they decide.
3. There is no mention of cyanide, cocaine, or any other sort of reward or punishment substance.
These three thing should be noted if anyone reads the piece a second time.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona