the pic has a look of obama 
i didn't think
and as you say
you say this i
i feel your breath
so close
i feel your breath
so warm
you say:
add enough as a stanza though it doesn't kill the poem; i see the journal as the window, a window within a window. it has a spiritual feel to it though not enough to complicate the main picture i see. i see a window through the journal into the window of someone's mind, or thought process. the window also feels like an explanation, maybe of adulthood, or what it's like to not be a child. the carry-on repeats work well in dragging the reader into the piece. it gives the reader [me]the impression they are part of the window and the journal. i'd struggle to do a line by line because of the style of the thing. each line/phrase runs into the next and even gets carried on a few phrases down. to change anything would probably destroy the heart of the poem and possibly smash the window. the poem takes me back to some secret i had as a child. it has a childish ambiguity woven through each line. i liked it a lot.
i didn't think
and as you say
you say this i
i feel your breath
so close
i feel your breath
so warm
you say:
add enough as a stanza though it doesn't kill the poem; i see the journal as the window, a window within a window. it has a spiritual feel to it though not enough to complicate the main picture i see. i see a window through the journal into the window of someone's mind, or thought process. the window also feels like an explanation, maybe of adulthood, or what it's like to not be a child. the carry-on repeats work well in dragging the reader into the piece. it gives the reader [me]the impression they are part of the window and the journal. i'd struggle to do a line by line because of the style of the thing. each line/phrase runs into the next and even gets carried on a few phrases down. to change anything would probably destroy the heart of the poem and possibly smash the window. the poem takes me back to some secret i had as a child. it has a childish ambiguity woven through each line. i liked it a lot.