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[Todd]

Hi Aish,

My preference is almost never for one word lines. It is very difficult to hold the line and it makes for a halting read as you give the break a half pause each time. Since I recognize where my bias is I'm going to ignore it and try to address the poem as it is. Here are some comments for you:

My
chest
ached
a little,--you might be able to cut this qualifier entirely
full
of
insomnia
and half spilled--I'm not sure you want spilled of any type here, more build less release
ire -

now it
divides
itself--I don't think you need this. You may want to move tumbling up to this line
over
and
over--I do like over and over
tumbling

a surging
hydrographic
soliciting to drown--feels too long maybe simply drowning
a capsized
lover.--I like the capsized lover being overcome

Seething
murmurs
fall
crash
break
dragging the depths--maybe the depths then line break dragging

below
my stomach
behind
my colon
reaching
beyond--like this entire sequence

the
spinning
fiery
wheels--makes me think of Ezekiel or Charriots of the Gods

of
sacred
undertow.--the last three lines are my favorite

Nice reading you.

Best,

Todd