07-20-2012, 07:55 AM
Hi Timmycom 
I enjoy the transition you make from being children to the 'present'- being adults together. I felt that you grammar was off in a few areas, but throughout the read I connected at each level with at least one thing from you work. Laying with my stomach way too full on a playground desperately wanting to play, but somehow still fairly satisfied to lie there surrounded by fun All the way to the beer drinking and your use of purposely slurred speech.
In the closing, I see 'in at least in an Inherited sence…' and I'm thinking you meant to write 'at least in an inherited sense.
All in all thanks for the read and thanks for sharing.
I enjoy the transition you make from being children to the 'present'- being adults together. I felt that you grammar was off in a few areas, but throughout the read I connected at each level with at least one thing from you work. Laying with my stomach way too full on a playground desperately wanting to play, but somehow still fairly satisfied to lie there surrounded by fun
All the way to the beer drinking and your use of purposely slurred speech.In the closing, I see 'in at least in an Inherited sence…' and I'm thinking you meant to write 'at least in an inherited sense.
All in all thanks for the read and thanks for sharing.