thanks for the suggestions and the feedback.
while i like it as much as tecktak does, as it now is, i can see that some of the suggestions work better, specially where the meter is concerned. and that damn last couplet. i obviously never read the complete brief in leanne's instructions which can be found here and feel obliged to make amends. I'll work on it now.
1st edit up, i tried to keep it more or less the same, took leann's suggestions and also penguin's advice to change laid, though lay is a common associated with a shepherd's whistle.
while i like it as much as tecktak does, as it now is, i can see that some of the suggestions work better, specially where the meter is concerned. and that damn last couplet. i obviously never read the complete brief in leanne's instructions which can be found here and feel obliged to make amends. I'll work on it now.
1st edit up, i tried to keep it more or less the same, took leann's suggestions and also penguin's advice to change laid, though lay is a common associated with a shepherd's whistle.