The Party Boys

[Philatone]

hey timmy

Yeah... Alot work has gone into this one.

The Party Boys.

…How I used to go to all the parties, ...how would you feel about using this as the title instead? it would let you begin a kind of repetition of "Oh..."
Oh ever since the beginnings of our times:
There’d be “football-cake”, jellies and ice cream
Then after, we’d sink screaming into the pirate riddled depths of the
Ball pool, furtherly exploring its expanses,
Now, laid teeming (infested) with fanatic shark impressions
Of those children, (after too much cake) that lay smiling as if
frozen, within the jammed family photograph,
Within the ancient Nikon A1 of my mind

Oh their childish impressions, almost as frightful
as how I’m forgetful to the length of time
It had been since I went to such parties,
and yet these Impressions are still as frightful:
As frightfully wonderful as those happy children
Playing their games of whose nicknames we’d
now use nostalgically In drinking games almost eight years later

Drowning ourselves in the alcohol, daring ourselves to do better!
Until gravitational law throws Newton’s books at us:
falling over, throwing up, whilst simultaneously
telling one another “Howwwf’huckin’ muchsh”
each other loves one another!
of how it feels to be, in at least in an Inherited
sence…

“… Bbbrrruuuuveeerrrssshhh.”

there were repetitions of some words that I think could be trimmed. also, breaking up the piece with more sentences could help the flow, cohesion, and comprehensibility (not that it's too difficult to follow). I think you capture the scenes pretty well; has an original feel to it