07-19-2012, 05:03 AM
I don't wish to sound uncharitable, Universalchild, but I think my advice would be to post this under the 'Mild Critique' section.
I read a lot of contemporary poetry, and have a lot of stuff I haven't got round to reading by published poets, so, after having forced myself past the unpromisingly archaic title, I must admit I switched off at the second line because I didn't think this poem had anything to offer me. Sorry, but this is the 'Serious Critique' section, and that's my honest answer.
Keep writing though, and as I say, perhaps post this in the Mild Critique section to pick up some more advice on how to improve.
I read a lot of contemporary poetry, and have a lot of stuff I haven't got round to reading by published poets, so, after having forced myself past the unpromisingly archaic title, I must admit I switched off at the second line because I didn't think this poem had anything to offer me. Sorry, but this is the 'Serious Critique' section, and that's my honest answer.
Keep writing though, and as I say, perhaps post this in the Mild Critique section to pick up some more advice on how to improve.