07-19-2012, 12:19 AM
Enjoyed this, Billy. A few suggestions
A holstered tale between two nervous knees:
O churlish cur why bite the hand of care?
the lamb was not for eating if you please. - That lamb was not for eating as you please.
I call you friend and yet those fangs you bare.
You and me, we have a shepherd's job to do, - Leanne's suggestion is good. Or use "shepherding".
you're not supposed to be a wolf, just glare.
A year or so when it becomes a ewe
and then we'll strike, but silent with a blade, - and then we'll butcher silent with a blade?
or axe, and have more meat to place in stew. - for us to chew?
But no you greedy bastard, had you weighed
the situation up you would have heard
a whistle saying how you should have laid. - I like the first 2 lines but not the final one. It's a poor ending.
A holstered tale between two nervous knees:
O churlish cur why bite the hand of care?
the lamb was not for eating if you please. - That lamb was not for eating as you please.
I call you friend and yet those fangs you bare.
You and me, we have a shepherd's job to do, - Leanne's suggestion is good. Or use "shepherding".
you're not supposed to be a wolf, just glare.
A year or so when it becomes a ewe
and then we'll strike, but silent with a blade, - and then we'll butcher silent with a blade?
or axe, and have more meat to place in stew. - for us to chew?
But no you greedy bastard, had you weighed
the situation up you would have heard
a whistle saying how you should have laid. - I like the first 2 lines but not the final one. It's a poor ending.
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.