The Party Boys

[billy]

Yeah... Alot work has gone into this one.

The Party Boys.

…How I used to go to all the parties,
Oh ever since the beginnings of our times: maybe a comma after Oh, or an exclamation.
There’d be “football-cake”, jellies and ice cream
Then after, we’d sink screaming into the pirate riddled depths of the not a good way to end the enjambment
Ball pool, furtherly exploring its expanses, further
Now, laid teeming (infested) with fanatic shark impressions
Of those children, (after too much cake) that lay smiling as if
frozen, within the jammed family photograph,
Within the ancient Nikon A1 of my mind two within's are too much
i really like the content so far, some good childhood images.

Oh their childish impressions, almost as frightful
as how I’m forgetful to the length of time
It had been since I went to such parties,
and yet these Impressions are still as frightful: would another word do instead of frightful.
As frightfully wonderful as those happy children
Playing their games of whose nicknames we’d
now use nostalgically In drinking games almost eight years later this line makes it feel a lot weaker than it should, nostalgia needs a lot more than 8 years (in my opinion )and the 2nd use of games

Drowning ourselves in the alcohol, daring ourselves to do better!
Until gravitational law throws Newton’s books at us:
falling over, throwing up, whilst simultaneously
telling one another “Howwwf’huckin’ muchsh” love this line, would “Howwwf’huckin’ muchsh” work better on its own line
each other loves one another!
of how it feels to be, in at least in an Inherited
sence… sense

“… Bbbrrruuuuveeerrrssshhh.”

it was entertaining to say the least. original is always best and this was.
a small edit could help it a lot. some of the repetitions, nostalgically really doesn't work and wouldn't be missed were it removed. i like the way the party boys stayed the party boys it has a feeling of friendship in the piece which was warming

thanks for the read.