Obsession Over If

[addy]

I really like the idea of the poem, but I think you're having trouble with parts of the execution. It's possible that you've also overextended the point, where a handful of demonstrations and images would have been enough to get the story across. And as tectak pointed out, sometimes the logic comes off as both leaden and circuitous... straying from the heart of the poem in an effort to force equivalencies.

Great idea, but needs more grace

If the world had been expected,
she wouldn't have cried.
if time had a form,
she wouldn't have ignored it.

When breathing took time
after she couldn't catch it.
exercising inhaling-exhaling
it has been settled to a notion.

Does it make her broken?

If obvious kept it's meaning,
she would have stayed near.
if love would of been,
she wouldn't of wanted.

She knows her skin
enough to know
that it had been tainted
fingerprints can be evidence. I know this part is useful in grounding the poem, framing the abstract statements in a very human story of the POV's pain and disappointment. But I think there needs to be more effort in tying this section in to the overall piece. Right now it stands as an island , imo

If innocence would have begged her,
she wouldn't have left.
if faith would of had purpose,
she would have been saved.

She brings hindsight
with her when she sleeps,
and when she sleeps
she dreams it. Lovely stanza

Does it make her broken?

If anything would have been visible,
she wouldn't have taken her eyes off of it.
if destiny would have been friendly,
she wouldn't have been scared.

She was disavowed from the world.
existing upon it-she's no longer in it.
though she clasped the earth once
she stands on her toes to barely feel it. fantastic couplet imo

If it just had been a thought,
would she still be thinking?
if she had truly knew it,
would she have known it? At this point I don't this stanza isn't even needed anymore, as it is more of the same but done less well. You could safely transition from the "she stands on her toes..." line to the "she knows..." line in the next stanza

She knows, she has to know
knowing is not always knowledge. "she has to know knowing is not always knowledge".... it just reads as very unwieldy to me
sometimes it is a place and a time
and when it happens, it is a memory. Overall this stanza is clunky and vague, I'm afraid. but i like what you're trying to put across

Does this make her broken?