07-17-2012, 10:09 AM
Hey tectak,
Thank you for reading and your feedback. You without a doubt have given me a lot to think about. I put this poem in serious because I do like it and I believe that it has potential. I will work on this more and use your feedback to improve it and post this again. I'll keep the idea and my "functioning stanza", as well as some other lines and go from there. In my second stanza you mentioned that it has seismic shifts, what did you mean by that exactly?
I agree with you, I do have that tendency of trying to write it all down but in the end it loses the content and structure and it becomes just a long thought.
I respect your suggestions on this and will work on it.
Thank you for reading and your feedback. You without a doubt have given me a lot to think about. I put this poem in serious because I do like it and I believe that it has potential. I will work on this more and use your feedback to improve it and post this again. I'll keep the idea and my "functioning stanza", as well as some other lines and go from there. In my second stanza you mentioned that it has seismic shifts, what did you mean by that exactly?
I agree with you, I do have that tendency of trying to write it all down but in the end it loses the content and structure and it becomes just a long thought.
I respect your suggestions on this and will work on it.