Hi michelle
thanks for your 1st poem
i sometimes struggle with the tho and 'words in poems tho here they fit the mood, i do think you have one too many tho's tho (leannes our meter teacher too, so i can say with surety the end rhymes are working well in their scheming and that the meter looks good
the title works well with the poem which does show some of the attributes of friend or foe which can be found in heavy rains.
the red dust places the area, or tries to but it feels that little bit generic. ( i know they have red dust on mars
) maybe a place name in there, but that really is a small nit. all in all a really good solid 1st poem.
thanks for the read
thanks for your 1st poem
i sometimes struggle with the tho and 'words in poems tho here they fit the mood, i do think you have one too many tho's tho (leannes our meter teacher too, so i can say with surety the end rhymes are working well in their scheming and that the meter looks good
the title works well with the poem which does show some of the attributes of friend or foe which can be found in heavy rains. the red dust places the area, or tries to but it feels that little bit generic. ( i know they have red dust on mars
) maybe a place name in there, but that really is a small nit. all in all a really good solid 1st poem.thanks for the read