07-16-2012, 04:34 AM
Don't apologise!
I am going to ruminate for a while on this. The only thing that stands out at the moment is that I think you've lost something by saying "blades of daughters" instead of "blades of its daughters" -- previously it was clear that the elephant had been eating the grass' "daughters", now they lack identity.
I am going to ruminate for a while on this. The only thing that stands out at the moment is that I think you've lost something by saying "blades of daughters" instead of "blades of its daughters" -- previously it was clear that the elephant had been eating the grass' "daughters", now they lack identity.
It could be worse