07-15-2012, 08:57 AM
Now that we've got to know of your poety, please try and leave some feedback on the works of others 
it feels like you have two distinct poems here and i'm not sure thats what you intended.
but they get lost as which is which. it reads as too preachy for me and has me asking; why use the dog for these profundities, or pose them as things pertaining to the dog and its life. the 1st two verse were solid then the dog becomes a vessel that can't really be sailed.
on first read it looks great then on subsequent reads it sort of deflates and makes the reader ask why?
thanks for the read.
it feels like you have two distinct poems here and i'm not sure thats what you intended.
but they get lost as which is which. it reads as too preachy for me and has me asking; why use the dog for these profundities, or pose them as things pertaining to the dog and its life. the 1st two verse were solid then the dog becomes a vessel that can't really be sailed.
on first read it looks great then on subsequent reads it sort of deflates and makes the reader ask why?
thanks for the read.