07-12-2012, 12:13 PM
I agree with Passionate Poet, it is difficult to grasp the concept. I believe you had a great idea and emotion, it just wasn't executed well...which happens to me a lot. Sometimes you have the right words and the right feeling, it just doesn't seem to come out properly for others to understand. What I did appreciate in this poem are the lines:
"deepest feelings
are always true."
I like these lines because the meaning behind them is honest and relatable. I'm not an expert writer (hence, why I'm in the novice section) but heres a suggestion when you write about emotions be more specific. Detail always helps. I do believe the overall meaning are in the last 2 lines of your poem, which are powerful and meaningful, so start there.
"deepest feelings
are always true."
I like these lines because the meaning behind them is honest and relatable. I'm not an expert writer (hence, why I'm in the novice section) but heres a suggestion when you write about emotions be more specific. Detail always helps. I do believe the overall meaning are in the last 2 lines of your poem, which are powerful and meaningful, so start there.