07-11-2012, 10:42 PM
I prefer "sharp as a blade" myself, but only offered the question because it referred to the plural form "memories...have all been" etc. That may be taking the grammar too far though 
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I don't think the sing/plural rule applies in the case of simile or metaphor as you are using it in a figurative sense and not a literal one, plus it is the sharpness of each we are comparing, not the memories and the blade of grass. If I were comparing memories with grass, then yes, it would be blades of grass. I think that is the distinction. What say you?
Dale
"The innocence leaks away - the memories are whitewashed away.
I think you'd have a better poem if the 2nd were analogous to the first. Dryness, dust, desert spring to mind."
Sorry, I don't understand your suggestions. How is it you are wanting to apply them?
In my mind (and this may not come out in the poem) innocence leaks away (because of disillusionment,and dishonesty) for similar reasons that memories are whitewashed away, or vice versa. That is, they are not similar in process, but in kind. However, for me "whitewashed" and "leaked" in this case are interchangeable. I understand what you are saying though, but I don't have a word to use that would convey what I want.
Thanks,
Dale
"Ah. It's okay if they were meant to be parenthetical then, but the ellipsis then followed by the dashes was not that smooth a read for me. "
Maybe I will do away with the ellipses. This was also brought up by DM and Billy as being problematic.
Anyone else want to chime in on that? Ellipses? Yea or Nay?
Dale
[/quote]
I don't think the sing/plural rule applies in the case of simile or metaphor as you are using it in a figurative sense and not a literal one, plus it is the sharpness of each we are comparing, not the memories and the blade of grass. If I were comparing memories with grass, then yes, it would be blades of grass. I think that is the distinction. What say you?
Dale
"The innocence leaks away - the memories are whitewashed away.
I think you'd have a better poem if the 2nd were analogous to the first. Dryness, dust, desert spring to mind."
Sorry, I don't understand your suggestions. How is it you are wanting to apply them?
In my mind (and this may not come out in the poem) innocence leaks away (because of disillusionment,and dishonesty) for similar reasons that memories are whitewashed away, or vice versa. That is, they are not similar in process, but in kind. However, for me "whitewashed" and "leaked" in this case are interchangeable. I understand what you are saying though, but I don't have a word to use that would convey what I want.
Thanks,
Dale
"Ah. It's okay if they were meant to be parenthetical then, but the ellipsis then followed by the dashes was not that smooth a read for me. "
Maybe I will do away with the ellipses. This was also brought up by DM and Billy as being problematic.
Anyone else want to chime in on that? Ellipses? Yea or Nay?
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.