Legacy Lost

[Erthona]

Thanks Addy,
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"not sure "leak away" is an image that particularly ties up with the rest of your poem"

Maybe, but I'm pretty sure dribble won't work :p Suggestions?
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" Should this be "sharp as blades"?"

I don't think so, at least I prefer to use a singular noun here as it creates more focus. I think of it in the same way I would do with sword/swords. I would say "sharp as the blade of a sword", not "sharp as the blades of swords". Does that make sense?
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" I found the use of punctuations rather random in this part."

I'm not sure what is random about

—where innocence has yet to leak away—

it is the same as writing

(where innocence has yet to leak away)

it is said almost as an aside. As I meant for it to be parenthetical, and em dashes are generally used in poetry for parenthetical phrases, I'm not sure how this is random. Could you explain why you think it is random?

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Thanks for the comments,

Dale