07-10-2012, 07:37 AM
Oh don't get me wrong, the "touristy" sales tone of the piece is indeed obvious, so you were successful there. I guess the tricky balancing act comes in because half of it is a sales pitch, but half of it is describing a scenario that is objectively horrible in a way marketing can't spin ("dissolved human filth and indifference")... we're talking apocalyptic stuff. There's no amount of denial for that shit 
So sometimes the reader had to decide for himself/herself what tone the piece is going for at a particular point... am i reading it too lightly, or too heavily?
So sometimes the reader had to decide for himself/herself what tone the piece is going for at a particular point... am i reading it too lightly, or too heavily?
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?