The Unspeakably Familiar

[tectak]

Thanks, Dale. He is married, yes, very much a married relationship. I fear double jeopardy will have to go - as you say, it needs something to place it in context and I don't have or want the space.

Tectak. "I think you are trying to say something simple and interesting in a difficult and complicated way." Actually, just the opposite. I wanted summat tight, snappy, lean and that's what I've got. It would be great if it made total sense to everyone but....

First 2 lines, though, I rather like. I think, in the context of the rest of the poem, they set a scene and describe a relationship. But, as you imply, they'd maybe be better in the body of the poem rather than the mouth.
I should put a comma after hide and seek. Linoleum - we're in the 20s but could be 60s, 70s, I guess.

"Great lines but why flame?,Why cameleon? Why bitter?"Are you serious? Seems fairly straightforward to me and I can't be explaining everything!
And thanks for the comments. I like to hear how others perceive my stuff. Don't mean I have to agree with 'em!But I shall have a think about the start of the poem.

Hi Ray, got to be the honest critic. I read this piece some time back in another place and was taken with the plangent to imperative line even though then as now I still felt that the line was as enigmatic as the whole piece. No, it is not clear to me what youa ere saying but you are saying it well!
Best,
tectak