Mind battle

[addy]

There's a lot of interesting things here, but at some points reading them was like (forgive me), a "mind battle". We are left to contend with the flow of strained thoughts with few clues on how to interpret them or ground them for ourselves. Don't get me wrong, some of the lines are truly excellent, but the POV is almost purely a reactive thought process of the protagonist (it takes place exclusively in his mind) and even though he is privy to what's happening to cause those thoughts, sometimes the readers aren't.

This is the second version of a recent poem I wrote called "Mind Battle", could you assist me in making it better?

Mind Battle

Consciousness, wondering, weaving, dodging in and out,
Blank featureless faces staring back at me stop to stop, tripped up here, at "stop to stop"
Each and every time surreal, endearing looks fly, I'm not entirely sure "endearing" is the word you were going for (am i wrong?).
Painful, hateful touches, the fifth sense I know, Maybe "the fifth sense I've known"?
Lone paving, the streets deserted, hesitating every other step,
The individual mind of feet and arms. I think you could put these two lines at the beginning of the poem;they are useful in setting some kind of context, which i thought was a bit lacking in your current intro. (Lone pavement. Steps. Hesitation // the individual mind of feet and arms). Just imo, though
Down town battlegrounds, soldiers in the horizon, in the rise,
Fear like daylight nightmare,
By the mass’s, they come, they storm,
Running, four steps, two,
Shivering spines from left to right,
Two seconds, one.
Yesterday’s blink starts again, chemical hands taking me,
Towering skies, colossal,
Time stealing journeys, lucid,
Sand running through the fingers,
Steady ground lifting,
Elevating,
Chaos in bird’s eye,
Synthetic friends guiding through the clouds in my way, eagle to the left.
Ants becoming small, smaller, treading, feeling seems normal.


Recent is "recent" necessary? abstract thoughts remembered, falling,
Grinding down metal bars,
Hemp wrapped,
Ends turning fire red,
Balanced throughout
it will only start again. Nice ending imagery