07-06-2012, 04:01 PM
if you're not keen on something and the remark isn't attacking you the poet, ignore it, don't debate it.
and forgive me, if you say it's right it must be, and people who are tripping aren't smashed or out of their skull, in fact they have all their senses and are fully compos mentis. back to the poem;
the four liners still don't cut it. nor does the 'shit' repetition but you're getting there. forgot and caught. almost a half rhyme but it would be better as a total rhyme seeing how all the other rhymes are full ones. if you make one larger verse instead of the four liners, change the words completely as of yet they say almost nothing and take a lot away from the rest of the poem.
back off the poem. it isn't a pissing contest, this feedback thing. we don't say stuff to wind you up and we don't care that you agree with them or not, all we ask is that you look at what was said and weigh it up against what you're aiming for with the poem. if you don't agree, put forward your reasons by all means but telling someone to shove a remark they made about syntax or grammar up their arse because you couldn't care less about a certain period or conjunction isn't being fair. (i was paraphrasing by the way
) people are kind enough to pay your poem respect by leaving feedback. if you slap them, they'll back away and leave feedback where it doesn't hurt to do so.
and forgive me, if you say it's right it must be, and people who are tripping aren't smashed or out of their skull, in fact they have all their senses and are fully compos mentis. back to the poem;
the four liners still don't cut it. nor does the 'shit' repetition but you're getting there. forgot and caught. almost a half rhyme but it would be better as a total rhyme seeing how all the other rhymes are full ones. if you make one larger verse instead of the four liners, change the words completely as of yet they say almost nothing and take a lot away from the rest of the poem.
back off the poem. it isn't a pissing contest, this feedback thing. we don't say stuff to wind you up and we don't care that you agree with them or not, all we ask is that you look at what was said and weigh it up against what you're aiming for with the poem. if you don't agree, put forward your reasons by all means but telling someone to shove a remark they made about syntax or grammar up their arse because you couldn't care less about a certain period or conjunction isn't being fair. (i was paraphrasing by the way
) people are kind enough to pay your poem respect by leaving feedback. if you slap them, they'll back away and leave feedback where it doesn't hurt to do so.