i think you really did sin with this one dale 
it's a 4 verse poem that says very little. which i suppose is what the poem is about. but for me it falls short of being cute, or funny or even serious. all i can think of it is that it's a piss take of some other poem or style of poem. if that's the case then it needs to be nearer the mark of the genre your mocking.
on the other hand i could have got it all wrong and it's a great poem
thanks for the read.
i had to come back with a ps.
i think it's beyond an edit (almost
)
it's a 4 verse poem that says very little. which i suppose is what the poem is about. but for me it falls short of being cute, or funny or even serious. all i can think of it is that it's a piss take of some other poem or style of poem. if that's the case then it needs to be nearer the mark of the genre your mocking.on the other hand i could have got it all wrong and it's a great poem
thanks for the read.
i had to come back with a ps.
i think it's beyond an edit (almost
)