07-03-2012, 06:29 AM
For a while I thought the Olympics had started - we below have run the race - the quick, above - the fast embrace (very good) - your footsteps pulse. I enjoyed the metaphors and the last line is clever. Yes, life is short and death is long. My main criticism would be that the last 8 lines become rather long-winded, repetitious. Enjoyed the poem, though, almost Shakespearean in parts. "and this the longest day" would be even more so.
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.