07-01-2012, 08:25 PM
I like the evocative quality. The only problem, besides what has already been noted, is the use of the Portuguese when it is not necessary, such as "en el rio juruena" en=in el=the rio=river. It doesn't really say any more in Portuguese than it does in English. When it cannot be literally translated it makes sense, but in the above example it does not. And if you are going to use phrase such as
"o coração não sente" then I would translate it "the heart feels not" although literally I guess it means, "the heart doesn't sense". So it would read
What the eyes don't see
the heart feels not
Which I think lends it a better sense of poignancy. The reversed syntax can be used to good effect here.
Dale
"o coração não sente" then I would translate it "the heart feels not" although literally I guess it means, "the heart doesn't sense". So it would read
What the eyes don't see
the heart feels not
Which I think lends it a better sense of poignancy. The reversed syntax can be used to good effect here.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.