07-01-2012, 08:08 PM
Nice Mary-J metaphor man. Like cool! (Really though, nice image et al)
Addy is right though, that last line's limp.
Why not just "until the beast is dead"? I don't think you have to reiterate that it was set free. It also allows for a nice double entendre.
Dale
Addy is right though, that last line's limp.
Why not just "until the beast is dead"? I don't think you have to reiterate that it was set free. It also allows for a nice double entendre.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.